Some people are actually requesting these!!

Sorry, but these really make me laugh, and some people are really requesting them! Ah, I should be doing homework.... Oh well.

1. Jack Bauer knows where Carmen San Diego is.
2. Jack Bauer doesn't breathe. The air hides in his lungs for protection.
3. Jack Bauer's house has an alarm system -- not to warn Jack of intruders, but to warn the intruders of Jack.
4. Jack Bauer doesn't lie. He tortures the truth until it admits it is wrong.
5. Jack Bauer can sneeze with his eyes open.
6. Jack Bauer can order a Big Mac at Burger King.
7. If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever.
8. Don't ask what Jack Bauer would do for a Klondike bar...
9. Jack Bauer saved money on his car insurance by torturing the gecko.
10. When Jack Bauer was a baby, he took candy from adults.
11. Jack Bauer shops at Costco... without membership.
12. Most children slept with a teddy bear and blanket when they were young, Jack Bauer did the same thing but with a real bear.
13. Jack Bauer never needs to wear a raincoat. Rain knows better than to fall on Jack Bauer.
14. Jack Bauer doesn't aim. He tells bullets where to go.
15. If you run away from Jack Bauer, you're just gonna die tired.

I hope you all enjoy them!! Tune in soon for the next edition!! :)